If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
