so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
