Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
