the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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