thus making me awesome and them whores
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
