I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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