how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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