I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
