i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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