My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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