yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
