So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
