Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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