yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
