Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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