you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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