So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
