It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
