my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
