Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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