a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
