Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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