Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize