i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
