do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
