So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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