i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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