My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
