Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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