Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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