Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
