i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize