maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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