It's Friday. Sex?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
