wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
