you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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