i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
