Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
