Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
