just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
All I want is dick and wine.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
