Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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