Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
