he thought i was a dude.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
