; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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