I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
