and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
