I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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