its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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