I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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