where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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