Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
