She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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