i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
