I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
