I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
