I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
