Where is the hickey?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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