I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
