She's JV to your varsity
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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