she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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